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Comments
Goodness, do all such folks have to be possessed of IQs lower than their age? How does this guy manage to dress himself?
Given all that family and friends dished out on him, I'm surprised that: (a) he hadn't been institutionalized; and (b) his revenge was so weak...poison ivy/oak for most folks, a few days of prednisone will handle that.
The story flowed reasonably well. You did a bunch of transitions but not recalling your other stories, this one was intelligible.
I liked the interaction between the mom and the son. A nice bit of characterization.
The scene about her butt was a nice complement to the story. You could have been a bit more subtle there, but it put a coda on what was happening.
Three Critique/Questions
Why do you hate pronouns (I, you, he she)? I would buy it if one character spoke this way. Not everyone speaks that way.
Why, if you constantly get critiques about too many names, do you feel it necessary to name every single person in the story? Trevor, Annie, Carter and the drug overdose people...none of them needed names.
If I could offer a suggestion, if someone isn't in at least two scenes, I would think twice about naming them unless (as I think you were trying here) you are trying to make them a sympathetic element.
So...I am supposed to believe that the Doctor and Ulysses both decided on the exact same medicine to give to him? Anabolic steroids? And what exactly were the janitors supposed to do? A felony for $25?