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Comments
Trying to trim this to 750 words, you lost the story. 2 stars
Couple little things? Some British-isms were in the first few pages. Sneakers, not runners.
And on pg 4, Advil should be capitalized, or called ibuprophen.
I'm nit-picking a brilliant author, but these things pull me out of the story briefly.
OK, big problem: Never, ever, ever take Advil and Tylenol together! Ever! Tylenol is Acetaminophen, it's a blood thinner. Advil is Ibuprofen, it's an anti-inflammatory that will also irritate your stomach lining. So between the two, you'll end up with a bleeding ulcer. I think the standard recommendation is to separate them by at least twelve hours, though I just stick to one. So unless you're TRYING to mess Hayley up even worse than she already is (bruised, battered, hung over), PLEASE stick to one or the other.
PS: Yes, this is a pet peeve. Yes, I've personally had a problem with both drugs. Google it if you don't believe me.
Fracture = broken. We have lots of terms to describe the fracture, but a fracture is a break.
People can walk on a broken ankle if they are tough enough to take the pain and the tibia is not where the fracture is.
She would have had an x-ray about a week after the surgery to confirm it was well healing.
Plaster? We more often use water activated fiberglass these days. Less heat as it cures, sets quicker.
Very likely she would have been put in a walking boot.
Advil = Motrin = ibuprofen. Each pill is 200mg, so three were a good choice, four a bit better. Redose after six hours if the pain has returned.
Avril (Advil) needed to be put out with the trash along with her high and mighty observations about how backwards we are here. They should never have been allowed to conspire against Pete, don't call me Jake (WTF?.). And those nasty, pompous, smelly, arrogant frogs should have been frog-marched out into the street
The painting needed to be destroyed in Karen aND Advil's presence.
Q, you turned a man into a submissive pussy. Those two arrogant sluts must believe in the bitch saying: men are like floor covering: lay them right one time and walk on them forever.
I too would like to see Jezzaz brush this dreck aside and write a part two.
You lost a follower with this one.